Directed by Benjamin Jones
Arden Theatre is delighted to announce auditions for Rumors, Neil Simon’s brilliantly crafted farce of panic, cover stories and escalating social disaster.
When guests arrive at an anniversary dinner party to discover the host has been shot and his wife is missing, the evening spirals into an increasingly frantic attempt to conceal the truth. As more guests arrive — and eventually the police — the web of lies grows ever more elaborate.
Fast-paced, tightly structured and reliant on ensemble precision, Rumors is a true farce: sharp dialogue, rising tempo and controlled chaos.
Performances
Wednesday 15th July – Saturday 18th July
7:30PM nightly
2PM Saturday matinee
Audition Dates
Saturday 14th March – 2PM–5PM
Sunday 15th March – 10AM–1PM
Sunday will also serve as overflow and potential callback session if required.
Casting – 10 Roles
We are seeking a cast of 10 performers. The roles below reflect the original gender breakdown of the play; however, we are open to gender-blind casting and clean character flips where appropriate. The priority is building the strongest possible ensemble.
Character Summaries
Chris Gorman (F)
Quick-thinking and increasingly frantic as events spiral. Often the engine of the panic, trying desperately to stay ahead of unfolding chaos.
Ken Gorman (M)
Measured, rational and steady — attempting to restore order as everything unravels around him.
Claire Ganz (F)
Socially perceptive, sharp-tongued and increasingly exasperated by the absurdity of the situation.
Lenny Ganz (M)
Dry, sceptical and prone to long-winded storytelling. Requires strong comic timing and clarity, particularly in extended passages.
Cassie Cooper (F)
Highly strung, emotionally volatile and quick to escalate tension.
Glenn Cooper (M)
Confident and decisive, but with a tendency to intensify rather than defuse.
Ernie Cusack (M)
Earnest, well-meaning and often struggling to keep up with the rapidly shifting narrative.
Cookie Cusack (F)
Physically expressive and navigating mounting discomfort. Requires strong physical control and stamina.
Officer Welch (M)
Authoritative and observant, entering the chaos with calm scrutiny.
Officer Pudney (M)
Measured and composed — the quieter half of the policing duo.
(Ages are flexible; casting will prioritise ensemble strength, chemistry and suitability for the role.)
Rehearsals
Rehearsals will begin with two evenings per week, increasing to include Sundays in the weeks leading up to the performance.
What We’re Looking For
Rumors is a true ensemble farce. We are seeking actors who:
- Listen and respond actively
- Stay present and adaptable
- Work confidently at pace
- Have strong comic instincts
- Thrive in collaborative rehearsal environments
Auditions will consist of script readings and ensemble work. No monologues are required.
How to Register
To register for auditions, please complete the online form:
https://forms.gle/1iGPQpN1CAD6ZdHZ6
Following registration, you will receive a digital audition pack containing:
- Full character breakdowns
- Selected audition extracts
- Details of what to expect in the audition room
- Practical information for the day
For any questions, please contact:
benjamindavid100@gmail.com